Command Your Inner Voice
The most important conversations you ever had in your life have always been with yourself. Yes that voice in your head chatting all the time, commenting your every actions and emotions. That voice can either be your best ally or your worst enemy. Let us see why.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.”
- Henry Ford
That inner dialogue is how your mind verbose your thoughts. Puts them in the front row and steer your mindset towards what ever it is you settled. It also constitutes the shape that will take the “self” triad namely Image, Esteem and Confidence.
These three are highly influenced by your mindset. As I stated in “How to Build James Bond’s Unshakable Confidence” it’s fairly simple to build up your confidence once you understand the mechanism. Your thoughts are like the MC at a party, if its good and fun the party is going to be awesome and fun on the other hand if you end up with a caustic wedding signer that’s not going to be the best day of your life.
Just remember that you can steer your thoughts and lead your inner dialogue positively by literally putting your mind to it. When you feel it slips, gently bring it back to its place.
As discussed in my last post about making choices, you have to decide which way it’s going to go down. Will you keep it on the bright side and keep going or are you going to fall under the grip of the dark side? Either choice you make has its pulling effect and will drag along its weight of fun or depression.
You command your inner voice, not the opposite. As soon as the cassette starts playing (Yeah, I guess I just gave away my age group) a bad song skip to the good one.
How do you do that your asking? It often times just a matter of changing the subject. But like most things about the inner game, it’s often only a matter of circumstances. When you can, do something about it. If you don’t like your job, before you get out to find another one you must identify what it is that makes you feel this way. Maybe it has nothing to do with the actual job but something else in its environment.
Your inner dialogues are powerful MC, they can make you feel like a king or the worst looser the Earth ever had to bear. Just remember it’s your party and you are in command.
You’re not that bad
Sometime your inner dialogues are very harsh with you. A bit like that cynical overrated critic. Proudly reminding you how you don’t fit in. How you don’t look anything close to that celebrity, that your body isn’t chiseled like a Greek god or that you have no sense of fashion; look at you, dressed in rags. That has a direct negative influence on your self-confidence.
The reality is your not that bad. There is always going to be someone better than you, sure, but you certainly are also better than someone else too. If you doubt it, simply take quality time to review the good stuff you’ve done. Think deeply about it. Try and feel the greatness of what you are and where you are.
You don’t need to seek approval. The one person you should be comparing yourself to, is yourself. That’s right! How did you progress? Did you put the efforts? Have you make a choice of courage or a choice of fear? Think in terms of growth. What can you do about it? Be S.M.A.R.T and take the right actions.
Steer the inner dialogue towards a positive mindset. There is no need to compare yourself with others. There is no need for you to doubt your capabilities. If it happens that you catch yourself thinking: “I can’t do this”, bring the dialogue to matters around you. Noticing people’s clothing or how great the conference room looks with everyone eager to get started.
Get physical, force a smile! Cuddy’s experiment, often quoted in those circumstances, demonstrated that your body commands your thoughts and so does the opposite. If you feel unable and doubtful about your abilities, you’ll see yourself slouching. If you adopt a power pose (actually positioning your body in a posture that characterize power) you’ll feel more confident. Use this to your advantage to bring the inner dialogue back in the positive groove.
Keeping your inner dialogue positive will benefit your self-image, make your self-esteem shine and boost your self-confidence.